Modern Yinster

Success Without Sacrifice

Leadership

Tough Love Concerning Change

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The power to change someone is an illusion. If you desire to change someone you may find yourself in a constant state of struggle, resistance or mental chaos.

Our real power is to change ourselves.

Years ago I stopped watching news every day. It was getting me down and something had to change. So I changed a habit.

I distanced myself from people, places and things that didn’t help me get to where I want to be tomorrow. I changed my surroundings.

The secrete sauce to having the biggest impact outward is to work inward. Be true to your beliefs by creating alignment with all thoughts and actions.

“I can not change anyone so I choose to change myself.

I acknowledge this and take full responsibility for where I am today.

My actions will inspire someone else to be the change they seek. “

Tough Love comes with love from the heart but may be a little sharp.

So… I say this from a place of love, perhaps a bit of tough love: It’s not them… it’s you.

If you blame them for making you feel a certain way then you gave them some of your power.

That can be a tough pill to swallow. When we shine that light on ourselves, it can be scary what we might pull out from the dark.

But, when we cultivate this we see things differently. Our heart softens, we become more compassionate, more open to change, giving and forgiving.

When develop a positive relationship with ourselves and our success in business, leadership and life is a product of that relationship.

When develop a negative relationship with ourselves and our success in business, leadership and life is a product of that relationship.

It starts with ONE (you). From there, it ripples to ALL.

Recharge for Fall

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It’s here!  Can you feel it and smell it all around?  The Fall season is upon us as we begin our final leg of this most interesting year.

In the Fall a tree will loose its leaves.  The leaves wobble to the ground as they begin to settle on the ground.  We are comparably those leaves. 

Perhaps you’ve been feeling a bit unsettled as wobble through the season.  Have you noticed a feeling of an unsettled mind recently?

***

This month I’m reading the book, Deep Work by Cal Newport.  He writes about the lost art of long bouts of time in deep thought on one subject. 

He says that when we can practice Deep Work, then we build the skill of attention and this increased attention bleeds into the shallow moments and we more skillfully change the outcome of anything. 

He even goes as far as to scientifically prove this! 
 

So in this month of October, what will you be paying attention to?

When we strengthen the skill of attention, we can produce more positive outcomes!

***

I know this might seem weird coming from a Gal that preaches stillness of the mind, but we are striving to find a balance and harmony as we don’t want the mind to become dull.  

What ever you decide to focus on during October, keep you attention on your intention! 

Pause Frequently,

Erika 

P.S. 

Meditation is a form of concentration on one point.  It allows us to dive into deep work inward.  Meditation will also allow you to clear the mind so you can create clarity in your deep thoughts.  

P.S.S. 

Free Discovery Calls are still available!  Click HERE to schedule with me! 

Launch Party for our TV Show

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During the months of July and August I self quarantined quite a bit as I was frequently sneaking off to Dallas to film our new Talk Show! So I kinda became a hermit but a very healthy hermit.

Earlier this year, I became a co owner of the new Sawubona Sister Gathering, LLC.
We are a Sisterhood with a heart lead purpose of seeing women for exactly who they are. We are a platform for women to dive deeper into relevant topics without the feeling of judgement.

Our Talk show is a platform for these topics and we want you to come sit on the couch with us and chat! This new adventure is an extension of what Modern Yinster offers.  Every experience at Sawubona Sister Gatherings will leave you feeling connected and full!

This Sunday, September 20th, we will be unveiling our new live-streaming show! I’d love for you to be there why we explain how this came about, back stage whoopsie – daisies and how to get this show into your living room!

Click HERE to go to the Eventbrite and reserve your ticket!   It’s totally free and open to everyone.  We just want to share a moment of celebration with you!

August Newsletter

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“You will get what you focus on, so focus on what you want!”
I love that quote above.  A simple reminder to stay the course.  But also with this reminder, I want you to give yourself permission to WANT something.  What is it that you want?  You’re not being selfish, I promise.  Go on… make a list of what you want!

This is the month to set intentions for your goals.  It’s a great month to create agreements with yourself.  Agreements with yourself that allow you walk forward with a decided heart.  So much so as if you have already achieved your goals and received what you want.

    BEWARE of traps!

A common trap is to get discouraged and lose focus because you don’t see forward movement.  The trap is… you are ALWAYS moving forward even when the work is not glamourous.

So this month and through the end of the year is going to rock.  Imma tell you why… I have put together quite the schedule to deliver tools to you that helps you the ditch the overwhelm and keep focus.

Here is a brief outline of events planned for you!  It’s pretty darn stellar as I have also partnered with Sawubona Sister Gatherings.  This is a place for women to support each other in all of our individual walk in personal and spiritual growth.  I will be sending you more info about this over the next month!

Sunday, Aug. 30th : 5 Factors of Focus an Interactive Webinar.  Take Action with Clarity and Purpose
Sept 19th – 20th: Be-YOU-ti-FULL Unique Virtual Retreat
Sept 21 – Oct 5th – Grand Opening for our Modern Yinster VIP Membership and Accountability Program (celebrate with me!)
September: Release of the Modern Yinster Focus Planner!
Nov. 1-5: Flexibility Challenge (if you can’t wait, sign up HERE and you will have immediate access!)
December: Absolutely no events, focus on fully supporting our membership through the end of the year challenges and 2021 transition.

Registration for our VIP Membership and Accountability is always open!

NOW is the time to buckle up, use the resources in our group to work out any kinks physically, emotionally and professionally so you stay healthy mind, body and soul.  

www.modernyinster.com/vip-membership

Farewell for now!  I know you are a busy lady so I’m going to let ya go!

Love you,
Erika

The ‘Ugly Cry’ is More Healing Than You May Know

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I had a magical “ugly cry”. It wasn’t pretty but the outcome was beautiful.  The end of the year is always hard. It’s a blend of happy and sad. I am floating on a cloud because this is that time of year when my children were born and I clearly remember the excitement of the anticipation of adding to our family and the current excitement of birthday celebrations. 

This is the time of year of family togetherness, games, food and merry drinks. The sad part comes in because this is when my Dad’s 4 wheeler malfunctioned, flipped multiple times then threw him 70 feet to land head first on concrete. He sustained uncountable injuries but the one that keeps his cognition equal to a two year olds is the Traumatic Brain Injury. 

I’ve felt stifled the last few days and I knew it was because of this time of year and the stagnation in my heart.  I knew rolling out my mat and practicing Yin Yoga would help. While in a pose, I thought of everyone in my life whom I loved and I sent them love.  

Then, I thought of Dad. And like a freight train out of nowhere, I burst into uncontrollable sobs. Let the Ugly Cry Therapy Commence.  No ugly cry is complete without slobber and a puddle of salty tears.  

I’ve ALWAYS looked at the positive in his accident.  I’m thankful for the accident bringing us together as a family.  I’m thankful of the strength it has given us to figure it out. I’m thankful for the faith it’s given us to know that what ever comes our way, it’s going to be okay.

‘But what I haven’t done is addressed my hate.  After all, hate is a bad word. I even teach my kids to express their aversion using other words than hate.  I’ve never explored hate because I’ve always gone to the positive. It’s my nature. It is my strength. But my strength has bullied my real feeling on the matter.  

I allowed my self to pivot towards my hate.  Not mask it with my natural positivity. So when the hate was the first thing I felt in my ugly cry, I leaned into it.  

<insert Ugly Cry visual here>

I HATE that this happened to him!

I HATE my Mom has to live without a partner!

I HATE that My Dad’s cognition level keeps him always dependent on someone!

I HATE that my little Brother had to grow up without a Father!

I HATE that my children don’t know this amazing man before his accident!

I HATE HATE HATE HATE that this is the way it is!

  1. HATE. THIS.

Now that felt good.  I am okay with my hate.  I am at peace with this feeling.  

<insert epiphany Ugly Cry here>

I was surprised at myself. I actually to experience the hate it instead of putting a warm cozy blanket of positivity around it.  I was ready to move on. That blanket had served me well for years until it didn’t. I accepted that I felt this way. I gave myself grace to feel that way. 

It was a beautiful pivot moment to really be in the experience the hate I had been neglecting and covering up with a blanket of positivity

Why do I tell you this?  I tell you this because I want you to be okay with pivoting into your experiences. It’s a beautiful liberation.

Gift yourself the gift of courage and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Open that door even though you don’t know where it leads because what’s on the other side is freedom of our know and unknown demons.  

Be sure to subscribe share this article and subscribe to her blog.  Also, you can find Erika’s private group on Facebook, Braving Vulnerability Together, HERE

The Kids Are Watching. What Message Are We Sending Them?

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People have always told me I’m loud, I have a dominating personality and I’m intimidating etc…. Until recently, I didn’t realize how much I have let these criticisms silence my voice.

Over the past 10 years I’ve developed into a nurturing Mother. This has definitely helped me ‘soften my edges’.

Top off all of this by my fear of living in any stress or urgency that manifested when my Father was in a traumatic 4 Wheeler accident and now lives with a severe brain injury and requires care 24/7.  This experience showed me how quickly it can all be taken from you so never spend a second unhappy. I vowed to never spend another second in stress which buried deep into my soul and kept me living in a place of fear.

All of this accumulated into a false personality trait of timidness, lack of drive and complacency. It was liked I tipped the scale in the other direction.

THEN the break through. OMG I’m seeing this same personality starting to develop in my children.   I saw fear peeking it’s head through in their school work, social life and sports.  That’s when I made the decision to practice overcoming fear by doing scary stuff and expecting more from myself.

This decision created a drive in me to push my perceived limitations and expect my children to do the same. I’m now searching for ways to  fall on my ass and get right back up.  I’m excited about being bold again.  I’m eager for my voice to be heard.  I laugh in the face of stress.  Without a little stress and tension in life, we can’t see what we are made of.

To say YES to the big failures.
KNOW I’m succeeding and I will continue to succeed forward.

I say “YES” to choosing courage to expand over building walls.  We are all meant to walk forward in live with our God given voices?

My 11 year old asked me recently to skate with him.  You see, he’s a big skateboarder.  He’s passionate, focused and driven to do his best on his board.  So, I said ‘YES’.  What an opportunity for me to literally fall on my ass and get back up!   How great of an opportunity for him to see me saying yes to something that scares me and only to succeed by failure.

And that is just what happened.  I fell on my ass…  hard but got back up. Just as his bravery and determination has afforded him time after time at skate practice.  We both set goals as to what we wanted to accomplish before we left the skate park and we hit them before we left.

Our children are always watching.  And we may not see our decision and fears directly impacting our children but they do.  We need to be asking ourselves, what message am I sending to my kiddos?  Is what I’m doing right now cultivating enough life so that our kids can face fears, jump over walls and really know the limitless potential of the greatness inside of them?